Cretinism, deficiency disease caused by congenital absence of thyroxine, a hormone secreted by the thyroid gland, and characterized by defective mental and physical development. Their limbs are distorted, their features are coarse, and their hair is harsh and scanty. Mental development is retarded throughout life. An adult cretin may reach the intelligence of only a four-year-old child.

The History:

The Cretins MC (est. 1992) formed simultaneously in Seattle and San Francisco by six friends. While a pox of bike towings, accidents and high rent folded the Frisco chapter, the Seattle chapter flourished under the guidance of Cretin #1, Todd "T-Bird" Werny. Today there are dozens riders, a chapter in LA, and solo members in NYC, Austin, Phoenix, and Maui.

The Cretin Philosophy:

We strive to interact with motorcyclists who focus on vintage, cafe, and "streetfighter" bikes. A club of misfits of the motorcycle world, the Cretins MC brings these elements together providing a unified entity for this overlooked/underappreciated segment of motorcycling. The Cretin aesthetic loosely resembles the bygone days of the British Rocker clubs. We are by no means an "Outlaw Club"...just a motorcycle lovin' bunch with a pint of Pabst and a 10mm wrench if you need it.

The Bikes:

The lineup of Cretin bikes is quite diverse. On any given Thursday we may have a CB450 Black Bombers, an old Guzzi, various '60's & 70's Honda Twins & Fours, BMW /5's, tricked out Yamahas, and a few newer bikes (Ducatis, Buells, & Triumphs) to round out the herd. The Cretins are dedicated to keeping old bikes on the road and helping others do the same!

The Nicknames:

It can be difficult for a prospective Cretin to remember all of the others' names, so we come up with "handles"--something colorful that sticks. Furthermore, as any motorcycle enthusiast knows, old bikes have a personality all their own, which warrants further name games for our rides, e.g. "Myrtle", "Wasp's Nest", "Lurch", "the Sand Flea".

Cretin Activities:

We meet every Thursday to have pint or two, swap parts, plan rides, BBQ's and such. Not surprisingly, many of the members are also active in the local music scene. We often combine our efforts/talents to put on "Cretin Bash" shows designed to bring the motorcycle community out in force. In the past we have planned benefit shows which raised money for Home Alive, and even our Cretins Racing Team which specializes in abusing old japanese bikes. Cretins have an annual Christmas party hosted at our garage. The party focuses on fun and good times but also benefits Rise 'n Shine, a charity that supports children who are themselves inflicted with AIDS or have a parent who is infliced with AIDS. If you are interested in helping, bring a gift card from Safeway or Old Navy.

Information/Contact:

For more information about the club, or to find out where we are meeting next, you can contact the Cretins Ambassador.